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Thursday, April 05, 2007
12 days to SYF, 19 days to...

Counting down: 12 days to SYF Central Judging for Chinese Dance & Chinese Oratorical Contest Final, 19 days to International Dance SYF & my birthday.

My facial expressions and my actions don't match my heart. I may seem daydreaming, but I'm deeply in thoughts; I may seem laughing over a good joke, but the laughters don't last long; I may seem sleeping, but I know what is happening around me very well; I may seem unconcern, but I care; I may seem smiling, BUT THEY ARE FAKE! Sometimes, I need peaceful environment for me to think. I just don't have the courage to tell my friends to leave me alone.

My heart is filled with doubts and guilt. I want sometimes to think. I want to sort out everything before taking actions.

At first, I decided to keep my doubts to myself. But I told some to winnie, some to stella, some to xue yan. I felt much better. Thanks lots!

The greatest incident that make me feel so guilty is, I had misunderstood stella recently. I agree with what winnie had told the others. I feel so sorry to leave her out! Being so cold towards her a few days ago. But in my heart, I don't bare seeing her alone despite having some dissatisfaction towards her certain actions. But different people have different thoughts and characteristic. We must accept it as long as we know that she has no bad intentions. I'm sorry!

Went back home with Winnie and Stella. Three of us were all disheartened. I decided to buy a candy floss to sweeten their gloomy heart. They are both my special friends. (In fact, most of my friends are special to me.) I emphasize on this friendship because despite three of us are from different classes, our heart are always bonded together. Our feelings affect one another. They are great lots!

Today's morning practice was done efficiently. If Mr Tay did not went to the hall to check on us, I guess we would never began with our warm ups. Mr Ong also came in. At that time, not all secondary 2s had arrived and only 3 secondary 4s were there. So I quickly gathered everyone for warmed up.

Lessons, not going to eleborate.

Chinese Oral, well, I need to thank these people for wishing me good luck. First come first serve basis.
-Jasmine (she said she has faith in me!)
-Ming Fang
-Keqin
-Wan Xin
-XueYan
-Shitstead
-Lynette
-Kitty
-Kopi
-ChuXuan
-Winnie
-Benardine
-Wilson (he was the last to wish me, just before my turn)

Thanks! I was the second to be tested. Ms Pan is my examiner. The passage is easy, no difficult words. The topic for conversation is not that difficult as my mama often discuss that topic with me...

Dance, well, we had to make our hair and try out our half done costume. Weird! And my hair was full of gel. Yucky and sticky. Had a hard time washing them off when I was shampooing my hair.

Sigh. What is done cannot be undone. We must accept the fact that we could never go back in time. We often ended up with regrets and guilt. I must be more sensible and sensitive towards others. I must be more compassionate and show more sympathetic towards others. I must show more affection! But I'll never be sympathetic towards the ungrateful old man!

lots of love @ 21:43
... I believe it's possible

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