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Thursday, June 19, 2008
Rawr...

Firstly, I wanna comment on something. Luckily I had let go. =D If not I must be struggling to keep a rein on the pain assailing my heart!

Okay okay. Hmmm. I went back to JJ today. I chose today because I still owed Huai Ching his birthday card and the H2 Math students were having their common test today. But in the end, I turned up meeting some other friends because he had councillor meeting. Luckily I wasn't alone, if not he made me defeated the purpose of going back to JJ. I forced myself to wake up so early and I went to have breakfast with my dad and took his car to Toa Payoh. I took bus 157 all the way to JJ. It was a 54 minutes of boring journey. I was nausea during the journey. I reached JJ before 11am.

Well, I went to look for Ying Quan first to pass him letters. But he was out to get his lunch. Oh well, I sat in the canteen and Lihe came. She kept me company for awhile, then Ying Quan returned. I passed him the letters. Well... He spotted Sha Sha and I passed Sha Sha her letter personally. I hugged her so tightly. I missed her so much!!! Hmmm. Then I met Isabella to pass her letters as well as money. Then I saw Salina, Wan Ting, Amelia, etc. So happy to see them around. I was hugging Wan Ting so tightly too! I MISS HER SO MUCH! And Yue Yin!!! Grace kept me company for awhile. And I saw Chew Yew and Jerry. Haha. I waited for so long. I called Huai Ching for umpteen times but no avail. That's alright because I got to see my friends! I went back to my uncle's house at 12.50pm. I was on the phone with darling Qian Ting on my way back. I went to take my shoes and clothes and went to my grandpa's shop for lunch.

I went to Chinatown to meet another Amelia after lunch to pass her DVD. Wait... On my way there, I SAW LAMMY!!! Oh my! I was so happy! I haven't seen her for ages. Then I went back home and talks to Shitstead over the phone and I received SMS for Huai Ching that he would be coming over to Buangkok to look for me! Haha! He felt bad for making me going to school for nothing. I almost joked to him that he owes me another Sentosa trip!!!


I saw this poster on the bus 99 today. Please pay the correct fare!




ROAR. I still need to help up for PW. And why am I so wretched? Sigh I have no idea. Anyway, I love the following exerpt and quotes. =D


How Watching Anger Dissolves It
I found out that because I spent so much of my life in a family where anger was never allowed to be shown - over thirty years of suppressing anger - suddenly I felt this almost continuous rage for abot two or three months. Where did that come from? Nobody was making me angry here. It wasn't the situation, so I couldn't blame it on the place or the people or anything.

I had some kind of intuitive sense to stay with it, and at first I tried to do a lot of intentional practice, really concentrating the mind to suppress the anger. But to do that for three months was impossible because I didn't have that strong a will. So I gave up trying to control it and just watched it, and then, through that, I began to understand.

Then one morning I woke up and it was all gone. There was no anger and I was in a state of bliss. Everything was beautiful and luminous, and there was no anger. Even trying to bring it back, I couldn't. Nothing seemed to be, nothing would catch hold, nothing would grab me. So that happened just through patience and a willingness to suffer [and awareness
].

- The Sound of Silence: The Selected Teachings of Ajahn Sumedho



"Since anger arises from clinging, why cling to anger?" - stonepeace


To live here and now, you must train yourself:
In the seen, there will be just the seen.
In the heard, just the heard.
In the sensed, just the sensed.
In the thought, just the thought.
That is the end of sorrow.

lots of love @ 20:31
... I believe it's possible

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